Fail Your Way To The Top

The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is the way in which we use them!

Have you had a challenging day or week? Feel a little tired or discouraged with a current situation? Ready to throw in the towel and quit something?

Don't worry. It's very normal to go through times of feeling that something in life stinks and all there is to see and feel is the current mess.

Here is something neat to ponder during those times, though. When doing battle with discouraged feelings, take a look at this report and reflect on this man's record of failure. It is a testament to how humans can learn and grow and win despite the losses and defeats.

Failed in business-------------------------------------1831

Defeated for legislature------------------------------1832

Failed in business again----------------------------1833

Elected to legislature---------------------------------1834

Sweetheart died----------------------------------------1835

Nervous breakdown------------------------------------1836

Defeated for speaker----------------------------------1838

Defeated for land officer------------------------------1843

Defeated for congress--------------------------------1843

Elected to congress-----------------------------------1846

Defeated for re-election-------------------------------1848

Defeated for senate------------------------------------1855

Defeated for vice president--------------------------1856

Defeated for senate------------------------------------1858

Elected President--------------------------------------1860

Who was he?

He was a simple, uneducated, country boy who refused to allow his uncongenial circumstances to stop him. He refused to be a victim. He refused to accept failure. He refused to listen to people who told him he was crazy. He refused to stay down when he felt like nothing was going his way.

Simply put, he picked himself up no matter what and kept on going after his dream. He educated himself and did whatever it took to keep moving in the direction of his passions.

Who was he? Abraham Lincoln.

If you reflect back on your life, you can find patterns of the times you grew the most. Many of those times were probably a result of some kind of previous 'failure,' maybe even a series of them.

Remember: children don't fail when they are learning to walk. They fall down over and over again. It is the falling that teaches them and strengthens them.

Each failure is a learning experience. And the faster people pick themselves up, reflect on the past occurrence and go again, the faster they can achieve their goals and dreams.

So with this in mind, choose the one thing that may not be going exactly as you wish right now and do one thing to move you closer to achieving the result you want. And remember, life is about learning and growing.

by John Assara

10 Tips For Writing The Perfect Thank You Note

by John Kralik, author of '365 Thank Yous'

1. Focus on the other person. First, find their address, and write it out yourself on the envelope. Where are they living? What did they go through to give you this gift? When is the last time you did something like that for them?
2. Think beyond material gifts. What about the person who serves you coffee every day? What about the doctor who saved your life, the Good Samaritan who found your wallet, the teacher who takes an interest in your child, the special friend who listens to you, the person who loves you.
3. Mention the gift itself, hopefully in a positive tone, so they know you got it, and are not confusing them with someone else.
4. Write a sentence or two explaining how the gift is changing or simply improving your life.
5. If the gift isn't right for you, don't ask where the gift was purchased so you can exchange it. You can get value out of any gift, if only by donating to charity.
6. Think of ways you failed to thank the person in the past and remind the recipient how important a friend they are.
7. Don't make jokes unless you know the recipient has a good sense of humor, and you are sure they will get the joke in the way that it was intended.
8. Keep the thank you short and simple on a 3" x 5" note card, minus fancy frills. That way, there's no room for anything except your gratitude. Replace thank-you e-mails with handwritten notes. With a handwritten note, a piece of you will be in the same room with the person to whom you write.
9. Try writing a first draft, perhaps in a spreadsheet. Not only will you benefit from the second draft, but you will always have a list of the most generous people in your life, and the reasons why you should be thankful for them.
10. Write a lot of thank-you notes. You'll get better.

Strange and Different - The Story of Rudolph

On a December night in Chicago, a little girl climbed onto her father's lap and asked a question. It was a simple question, asked in children's curiosity, yet it had a heart-rending effect on Robert May.

“Daddy,” four-year old Barbara asked, “Why isn't my Mommy just like everybody else's mommy?”

Bob May stole a glance across his shabby two-room apartment. On a couch lay his young wife, Evelyn, racked with cancer. For two years, she had been bedridden; for two years, all Bob's income and smaller savings had gone to pay for treatments and medicines.

The terrible ordeal already had shattered two adult lives. Now Bob suddenly realized the happiness of his growing daughter was also in jeopardy. As he ran his fingers through Barbara's hair, he prayed for some satisfactory answer to her question.

Bob May knew only too well what it meant to be “different.” As a child, he had been weak and delicate. With the innocent cruelty of children, his playmates had continually goaded the stunted, skinny lad to tears. Later at Dartmouth, from which he was graduated in 1926, Bob May was so small that he was always being mistaken for someone's little brother.

Nor was his adult life much happier. Unlike many of his classmates who floated from college into plush jobs, Bob became a lowly copy writer for Montgomery Ward, the big Chicago mail order house. Now at 33, Bob was deep in debt, depressed and sad.

Although Bob did not know it at the time, the answer he gave the tousle-haired child on his lap was to bring him to fame and fortune. It was also to bring joy to countless thousands of children like his own Barbara. On that December night in the shabby Chicago apartment, Bob cradled his little girl's head against his shoulder and began to tell a story.

“Once upon a time there was a reindeer named Rudolph, the only reindeer in the world that had a big red nose. Naturally people called him Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.” As Bob went on to tell about Rudolph, he tried desperately to communicate to Barbara the knowledge that, even though some creatures of God are strange and different, they often enjoy the miraculous power to make others happy.

Rudolph, Bob explained, was terribly embarrassed by his unique nose. Other reindeer laughed at him; his mother and father and sister were mortified too.

Even Rudolph wallowed in self pity.

“Well,” continued Bob, “one Christmas Eve, Santa Claus got his team of husky reindeer -- Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, and Vixon -- ready for their yearly trip around the world. The entire reindeer community assembled to cheer these great heroes on their way. But a terrible fog engulfed the earth that evening, and Santa knew that the mist was so thick he wouldn’t be able to find any chimney.

Suddenly, Rudolph appeared, his red nose glowing brighter than ever. Santa sensed at once that here was the answer to his perplexing problem. He led Rudolph to the front of the sleigh, fastened the harness and climbed in.

They were off! Rudolph guided Santa safely to every chimney that night. Rain and fog, snow and sleet; nothing bothered Rudolph, for his bright nose penetrated the mist like a beacon.

And so it was that Rudolph became the most famous and beloved of all the reindeer. The huge red nose he once hid in shame was now the envy of every buck and doe in the reindeer world. Santa Claus told everyone that Rudolph had saved the day, and from that Christmas, Rudolph has been living serenely and happy.”

Little Barbara laughed with glee when her father finished. Every night she begged him to repeat the tale until finally Bob could rattle it off in his sleep. Then, at Christmas time, he decided to make the story into a poem like “The Night Before Christmas” and prepare it in bookish form illustrated with pictures, for Barbara’s personal gift. Night after night, Bob worked on the verses after Barbara had gone to bed, for he was determined his daughter should have a worthwhile gift, even though he could not afford to buy one.

Then as Bob was about to put the finishing touches on Rudolph, tragedy struck.

Evelyn May died. Bob, his hopes crushed, turned to Barbara as chief comfort. Yet, despite his grief, he sat at his desk in the quiet, now lonely apartment, and worked on “Rudolph” with tears in his eyes.

Shortly after Barbara had cried with joy over his handmade gift on Christmas morning, Bob was asked to an employees holiday party at Montgomery Wards. He didn't want to go, but his office associates insisted. When Bob finally agreed, he took with him the poem and read it to the crowd. First, the noisy throng listened in laughter and gaiety. Then they became silent, and at the end, broke into spontaneous applause. That was in 1938.

By Christmas of 1947, some 6 million copies of the booklet had been given away or sold, making Rudolph one of the most widely distributed books in the world. The demand for Rudolph-sponsored products increased so much in variety and number that educators and historians predicted Rudolph would come to occupy a permanent place in the Christmas legend.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is a character created in a story and song by the same name. The story was created by Robert L. May in 1939 as part of his employment with Montgomery Ward.

The Touch of the Masters Hand

Twas battered and scarred, and the auctioneer thought it scarcely worth his while to waste much time on the old violin, but held it up with a smile; "What am I bidden, good folks," he cried, "Who'll start the bidding for me?" "A dollar, a dollar"; then two!" "Only two? Two dollars, and who'll make it three? Three dollars, once; three dollars twice; going for three.." But no, from the room, far back, a gray-haired man came forward and picked up the bow; Then, wiping the dust from the old violin, and tightening the loose strings, he played a melody pure and sweet as caroling angel sings.

The music ceased, and the auctioneer, with a voice that was quiet and low, said; "What am I bid for the old violin?" And he held it up with the bow. A thousand dollars, and who'll make it two? Two thousand! And who'll make it three? Three thousand, once, three thousand, twice, and going and gone," said he. The people cheered, but some of them cried, "We do not quite understand what changed its worth." Swift came the reply: "The touch of a master's hand."

And many a man with life out of tune, and battered and scarred with sin, Is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd, much like the old violin, A "mess of pottage," a glass of wine; a game - and he travels on. "He is going" once, and "going twice, He's going and almost gone." But the Master comes, and the foolish crowd never can quite understand the worth of a soul and the change that's wrought by the touch of the Master's hand.

By Myra 'Brooks' Welch

F.E.A.R. Acronym

Courtesy of Greg Brown:

We continue to work daily on our Process oriented thinking. We truly believe that we must work just as hard, if not harder, developing our player's mental skills as their physical skills.

We have noticed the words,"fear, afraid, failure" etc come up in conversations. Afraid of failure, afraid of letting others down, etc. So how then, can we make a fear of failure work work as a strength.

Dr. Kevin Elko has the following suggestions:

Fear is an Acronym:
False Evidence Appearing Real

If you hold onto fear, then that worrisome, awful vision is clearly and consistently established in your mind and it will occur--because you have made it so.

A vision isn't a vision until it is tested. Make your vision last longer than your fear.

Do not surrender to the greatest temptation--Self pity. With self pity you are not thinking something is just hard but rather that something is too hard. It is beyond you; it is more than you can handle.

To accomplish the seemingly impossible:
1. Thinking it
2. Speaking it
3. Acting it

Courage

You gain strength, courage, & confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, I lived through this horror I can take the next thing that comes along. - Eleanor Roosevelt

The Gold Slippers

It was only four days before Christmas. The spirit of the season hadn't yet caught up with me, even though cars packed the parking lot of our local discount store.

Inside the store, it was worse. Shopping carts and last minute shoppers jammed the aisles. Why did I come today? I wondered.

My feet ached almost as much as my head. My list contained names of several people who claimed they wanted nothing but I knew their feelings would be hurt if didn't buy them anything.

Buying for someone who had everything and deploring the high cost of items, I considered gift-buying anything but fun. Hurriedly, I filled my shopping cart with last minute items and proceeded to the long checkout lines. I picked the shortest but it looked as if it would mean at least a 20 minute wait.

In front of me were two small children - a boy of about 5 and a younger girl. The boy wore a ragged coat. Enormously large, tattered tennis shoes jutted far out in front of his much too short jeans. He clutched several crumpled dollar bills in his grimy hands. The girl's clothing resembled her brother's. Her head was a matted mass of curly hair. Reminders of an evening meal showed on her small face.

She carried a beautiful pair of shiny, gold house slippers. As the Christmas music sounded in the store's stereo system, the girl hummed along, off-key but happily.

When we finally approached the checkout register, the girl carefully placed the shoes on the counter. She treated them as though they were a treasure.
The clerk rang up the bill. "That will be $6.09," she said. The boy laid his crumpled dollars atop the stand while he searched his pockets. He finally came up with $3.12. "I guess we will have to put them back, " he bravely said.

"We will come back some other time, maybe tomorrow." With that statement, a soft sob broke from the little girl. "But Jesus would have loved these shoes, " she cried. "Well, we'll go home and work some more. Don't cry. We'll come back," he said.

Quickly I handed $3.00 to the cashier. These children had waited in line for a long time. And, after all, it was Christmas. Suddenly a pair of arms came around me and a small voice said, "Thank you lady."

"What did you mean when you said Jesus would like the shoes?" I asked.

The boy answered, "Our mommy is sick and going to heaven. Daddy said she might go before Christmas to be with Jesus." The girl spoke, "My Sunday school teacher said the streets in heaven are shiny gold, just like these shoes."

"Won't mommy be beautiful walking on those streets to match these shoes?"

My eyes flooded as I looked into her tear streaked face. "Yes" I answered, "I am sure she will."

Silently I thanked God for using these children to remind me of the true spirit of giving." 'Tis the Season!! Remember that it's better to give than receive.

Recovering from Setbacks

Here are three tips for getting back in the saddle after a deflating setback from Success Magazine’s weekly E-newsletter.

Step One: Pout or Punch. Do What You Have to Do to Feel Better.

Allow yourself to be an utter mess, SUCCESS columnist Mel Robbins says. “I gripe. I cry. I feel insecure. I punch the wall. I exercise. Then, it’s out of my system and it’s over,” she says.

Take the time you need to process what happened. Whether it’s life-altering like a layoff or an unforeseen obstacle in a big project, it’s okay. Really. Accepting the setback is an important step toward moving forward. It’s one more thing you can put in the “I know not to do that next time” column.

Step Two: You’ve Got to Move It (Move It)

Pardon the maddening tune, but the next step to recovery is taking action. Any action. Write down your proudest accomplishments and remember how you achieved them. Journaling your accomplishments will help you realize how powerful you really are. Recognizing your power, you can move forward confidently without second-guessing your every step.

Step Three: What’s the Takeaway?

From every misstep, there’s a lesson learned or a key takeaway that you can apply to your next project. So think on two levels—literally and figuratively. What’s the literal lesson from what happened and what larger, overarching principle can be taken from this experience? View your challenges positively. Easier said than done, but just thinking to yourself, “Okay, it can only get better now” is the kind of positive affirmation you need.

Merry Christmas

Years ago, there was a very wealthy man who, with his devoted young son, shared a passion for art collecting. Together, they traveled around the world, adding only the finest art treasures to their collection. Priceless works by Picasso, Van Gogh, Monet and many others adorned the walls of the family estate.

The widowed elder man looked on with satisfaction as his only child became an experienced art collector. The son's trained eye and sharp business mind caused his father to beam with pride as they dealt with art collectors around the world.

One year, as winter approached, war engulfed the nation, and the young man left to serve his country. After only a few short weeks, his father received a telegram. His beloved son was missing in action. The art collector anxiously awaited more news, fearing he would never see his son again. Within days, his fears were confirmed. The young man had died while rushing a fellow soldier to a medic.

Distraught and lonely, the old man faced the upcoming Christmas holidays with anguish and sadness. The joy of the season that he and his son had looked forward to would visit his house no longer.

On Christmas morning, a knock on the door awakened the depressed old man. As he walked to the door, the masterpieces of art on the walls only reminded him that his son was not coming home. As he opened the door, he was greeted by a soldier with a large package in his hands.

He introduced himself to the old man by saying, "I was a friend of your son. I was the one he was rescuing when he died. May I come in for a few moments? I have something to show you."

As the two began to talk, the soldier told of how the man's son had told everyone of his, not to mention his father's, love of fine art. "I am no artist," said the soldier, "but I want to give you this."

As the old man unwrapped the package, the paper gave way to reveal a portrait of the man's son. Though the world would never consider it the work of a genius, the painting featured the young man's face in striking detail.

Overcome with emotion, the man thanked the soldier, promising to hang the picture above the fireplace. A few hours later, after the soldier had departed, the old man set about his task. True to his word, the painting went above the fireplace, pushing aside thousands of dollars worth of art. His task completed, the old man sat in his chair and spent Christmas gazing at the gift he had been given.

During the days and weeks that followed, the man realized that, even though is son was no longer with him, the boy would live on because of those he had touched. He would soon learn that his son had rescued dozens of wounded soldiers before a bullet stifled his caring heart.

As the stories of his son's gallantry continued to reach him, fatherly pride and satisfaction began to ease his grief. The painting of his son soon became his most prized possession, far eclipsing any interest in the pieces for which museums around the world clamored. He told his neighbors it was the greatest gift he had ever received.

The following spring, the old man became ill and passed away. The art world was in anticipation that the collector's passing and his only son dead, those paintings would be sold at auction. According to the will of the old man, all art works would be auctioned on Christmas Day, the day he had received the greatest gift.

The day soon arrived and art collectors from around the world gathered to bid on some of the world's most spectacular paintings. Dreams would be fulfilled this day; greatness would be achieved as many would claim, "I have the greatest collection."

The auction began with a painting that was not on any museum's list. It was the painting of the man's son. The auctioneer asked for an opening bid, but the room was silent. "Who will open the bidding with $100?" he asked. Minutes passed, and no one spoke. From the back of the room came a voice, "Who cares about that painting? It's just a picture of his son." "Let's forget about it and move on to the good stuff," more voices echoed in agreement.

"No, we have to sell this one first," replied the auctioneer. "Now, who will take the son?" Finally, a neighbor of the old man spoke. "Will you take ten dollars for the painting? That's all I have. I knew the boy; so I would like to have it.

"I have ten dollars. Will anyone go higher?" asked the auctioneer. After more silence, the auctioneer said, "Going once, going twice, gone." The gavel fell.

Cheers filled the room and someone exclaimed, "Now we can get on with it and we can bid on the real treasures!" The auctioneer looked at the audience and announced that the auction was over.

Stunned disbelief quieted the room. Someone spoke up and asked, "What do you mean, it's over? We didn't come here for a picture of some old guy's son. What about all these paintings? There are millions of dollars worth of art here! I demand that you explain what is going on!"

The auctioneer replied, "It's very simple. According to the will of the father, whoever takes the son...gets it all."

Voice Lessons

There is nothing more genuine than breaking away from the chorus to learn the sound of your own voice. - Po Bronson

How to Surpass the Best in Your Field

By Michael Masterson

"It is well to respect the leader. Learn from him. Observe him. Study him. But don't worship him. Believe you can surpass. Believe you can go beyond."
- David Joseph Schwartz

It's always good to get a compliment. When I rewrote the lead for a promotion that GX, a successful copywriter, had been paid to write for one of my clients earlier this week, I felt good about my revision. The sales copy GX had sent in was standard, run-of-the-mill professional palaver. My take on it felt fresh and strong. It was better.

But when I sent it back to my client, I was worried that GX might not like the fact that I had changed it so much. Perhaps he would feel slighted and reject it. We couldn't force him to accept my changes. If he insisted on going with his original submission, my client would be in an awkward position: She could risk offending a potentially good source of future copy... or she could mail what we both believed was weaker copy and suffer the economic consequences.

Luckily, she didn't have to make that choice. After reading my new lead (along with my suggestions on how to finish out the rest of the package), GX wrote:

"I thought: 'Why couldn't I write it like that?'... but then I realized that's why MM is so successful. I'm honored that he took the time to do it... I appreciate the effort... my challenge now is to make the rest as strong as MM's contribution... make us all proud."

This story has two morals.

The first is about ego and its opposite - i.e., humility. The greatest challenges we face in life are obstacles that reside inside of us. When it comes to learning a complicated skill like writing (copywriting, editorial writing, writing for blogs, e-zines, books, etc.), the one thing that will keep you from learning it quickly is hubris.

Hubris is Aristotle's term for excessive, blinding pride. It is the fatal flaw that foiled many tragic heroes in literature, from Oedipus to King Lear to Captain Ahab. When writers believe - or desperately want to believe (which is sometimes worse) - that their writing is above reproach, they cannot possibly get better.
And what is true for writers is equally true for musicians, tennis players, salsa dancers, sumo wrestlers, and skateboarders. Those who are willing to say "I can do better" do better. Those who say "I am the greatest" soon take a tumble. What you want in your career is the confidence that follows accomplishment, not the pride that precedes a fall.

When I saw the note that GX wrote, I was mildly flattered by the compliment. But what really made me happy was his willingness to agree that my copy was better... and challenge himself to write better copy himself.
So that's the first lesson: No matter how good you are at what you do, there's someone out there who can teach you something.

Think about your strongest skill - the talent or capability that is most important to the achievement of your main goal. Now ask: "Am I willing to acknowledge that there are people in my universe who are better at this?" If you can confidently accept the limitations of your strongest skill, there is no limit to how far you can develop it.

And now we come to the second moral of this story: The only good way to improve a skill is to practice it. Reading about it is certainly helpful. Talking about it with people who are experts may work too. But no amount of reading and talking will do nearly as much as regular, focused practice. And that's what GX should know about his future as a copywriter. If he continues to practice his craft - while taking advantage of everything he can learn from more experienced and skillful copywriters - the likelihood that he will be great one day is better than 99 percent.

I am certain of that. Why? Because I have seen it happen. I have worked with more than a dozen copywriters over the years who have moved from bad to pretty good (and GX is pretty good)... and then from pretty good to very good... and then from very good to better than the best. All it takes is practice. With practice and a willingness to keep learning, GX will almost certainly surpass some of the best copywriters in the business. It is just a matter of time.

Here's something else that GX should consider: Human beings are designed to get better through practice. Everything we ever learn to do - from walking to talking to writing concertos - gets better through practice. Practice makes our fingers move faster, our hearts beat stronger, our brains think smarter. What is it that Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods talk about when they talk about their careers? It's not that they were gifted with extraordinary natural talent. It's that they work harder than their competitors.

And here's one final thought on the matter: Nothing in nature stays the same. If you are not getting better, you are surely getting worse. That is how I feel about submission wrestling. I don't worry about the fact that I have no natural talent for it. I don't sweat the fact that I'm 56 years old and most of the guys I wrestle are less than half my age. I don't worry about my past mistakes or my present ineptitude. I just focus on getting better. I know for sure that if I keep at it, I'll keep improving. So far, that has proven to be true.

When I started actively training in Jiu Jitsu about five years ago, I wasn't very good at all. Most of the guys I trained with were much better than I was. Some of them still are. But I have caught up to others. And even surpassed a few. What did I do? Nothing but acknowledge that I had room to grow... and keep practicing.
I worked out three, four, or five hours a week. Week after week, month after month, year after year, I kept at it. And now, at my ripe old age, I'm better than I have ever been.

If you ever feel that you are not as good as you want to be, remember these little lessons:

•It is good to accept your limits. If you felt any other way, it would be hard to get better.

•Humility is a strength you should cultivate.

•Confidence will come to you when you deserve it.

•Avoid boastfulness and pride, because they will slow you down.

And most important: Practice with conscious attention, and eventually you will surpass even those you most admire.

Enthusiasm

“Every memorable act in the history of the world is a triumph of enthusiasm. Nothing great was ever achieved without it because it gives any challenge or any occupation, no matter how frightening or difficult, a new meaning. Without enthusiasm you are doomed to a life of mediocrity but with it you can accomplish miracles."

-- Og Mandino

My Creed

by Dean Alfange:

"I do not choose to be a common man or woman. It is my right to be uncommon, if I can. I seek opportunity, not security. I do not wish to be a kept citizen, humbled and dulled by having the state look after me. I want to take the calculated risk, to dream and to build, to fail and succeed. I will not trade freedom for beneficence, nor my dignity for a handout. I will never cower before any master, nor bend to any bully
or terrorist threat. It is my heritage to stand erect, proud and unafraid,to think and act for myself, enjoy the benefits of my creations and to face the world boldly, and say, 'This I have done.'"

Poem "My Creed" by Edgar Guest

To live as gently as I can;
To be, no matter where, a man;
To take what comes of good or ill
And cling to faith and honor still;
To do my best, and let that stand
The record of my brain and hand;
And then, should failure come to me,
Still work and hope for victory.

To have no secret place wherein
I stoop unseen to shame or sin;
To be the same when I'm alone
And when my every deed is known;
To live undaunted, unafraid
Of any step that I have made;
To be without pretense or shame
Exactly what men think I am.

To leave some simple mark behind
To keep my having lived in mind;
If enmity to aught I show.
To be an honest, generous foe,
To play my little part, nor whine
That greater honors are not mine.
This, I believe, is all I need
For my philosophy and creed.

The Greatest Teachers

“The greatest teacher makes a few simple points. The powerful teacher leaves one or two fundamental truths. And the memorable makes the point not by telling, but by helping the students discover on their own. Learning takes place through discovery, not when you’re told something, but when you figure it out for yourself. All a really fine teacher does is to make suggestions, point out problems, above all, ask questions, and more questions and more questions…teaching encourages not only discovery but initiative.”

--William Safire, “Lend Me Your Ears”

UNBUNTU - I Am Because We Are

Courtesy of Bob Starkey

Here's a great story about how one word helped force the Boston Celtics into NBA Champions:

Two former classmates see each other in passing. A word is exchanged. They go their separate ways. No big deal. Except that in this case the word inspires a man, who inspires a team, which wins an NBA championship. That’s some word.

The word is “ubuntu” (Ooh-BOON-too), roughly “I am because we are.” A Bantu term, it served as a rallying cry for South Africans battling apartheid, voiced by Nelson Mandela and Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

“When you’re building a new country and you’ve spent so long divided, with one group oppressing another, it’s a very big statement,” says Stephanie Russell, Arts ’83, executive director for Marquette’s Office of Mission and Identity.

It can also be a big statement for a newly rebuilt basketball team trying to forge a cohesive identity. “It caught me right away,” says Boston Celtics Coach Glenn “Doc” Rivers, Arts ’85 and Marquette trustee, who heard about ubuntu from Russell during a lunch break at a Marquette Board meeting. “It’s not just a word. It’s a way of life, a way of being.”

Recently, Russell and Rivers shared their memories of that conversation.

The Celtics were coming off a rough season. Nine of 15 players were new. Rivers was searching for something to unite them. When Russell explained the core concept of ubuntu — I can’t be all I can be unless you’re all you can be — he was hooked. “Right when she said that, I said ‘That’s it. That’s the word. That’s the philosophy. That’s what I need,’” Rivers remembers.

He stayed up late that night, reading everything he could get his hands on about ubuntu. Then he went back to Boston and gathered his Celtics. “Our first team meeting,” Rivers says, “I walked in front of the team and I said, ‘ubuntu,’ just like that. I said it again. One of the players, I think Kevin Garnett, raised his hand and asked, ‘What is it?’”

Rivers didn’t answer. He made everyone wait a day and then had the team’s rookies explain. “I brought them up to my office and told them this is not a joke. This is not you singing your team song here. This is very, very personal to me and very important to me,” he says.

Why rookies? Rivers knew they would work the hardest. And because, unlike the veterans, they wouldn’t be skeptical of something new.

“They were sensational, better than I ever would have been,” he says of the rookies. “And it caught the team immediately.”

The Celtics went on to become the 2008 NBA champs, buoyed by the power of a word. “I was amazed at how many times the word helped our team get through tough times. It was the perfect philosophy for our team,” Rivers says. “And it still is. Recently I was thinking about trying a different motto, and one of my players informed me, ‘No, we are ubuntu.’”

Also amazing to Rivers are the circumstances that brought the word to him. “Being in the right place at the right time was huge,” he says. “What if Stephanie had left? What if she had decided to eat lunch on the other side of the room? I honestly don’t know. Without that word our season could’ve been different.”

Read the entire article from CelticsLife.com at: http://bit.ly/dl5c9U

WHAT MATTERS IN LIFE

Some people understand life better.

And they call some of these people "retarded"...

At the Seattle Special Olympics, nine contestants, all physically or mentally disabled, assembled at the starting line for the 100-yard dash.

At the gun, they all started out, not exactly in a dash, but with a relish to run the race to the finish and win.

All, that is, except one little boy who stumbled on the asphalt, tumbled over a couple of times, and began to cry. The other eight heard the boy cry.

They slowed down and looked back. Then they all turned around and went back every one of them. One girl with Down's Syndrome bent down and kissed him and said,"This will make it better."

Then all nine linked arms and walked together to the finish line.

Everyone in the stadium stood, the cheering went on for several minutes.

People who were there are still telling the story... Why? Because deep down we know this one thing: What matters in this life is more than winning for ourselves.

What matters in this life is helping others win, even if it means slowing down and changing our course.

TEN CANNOTS

By Rev. William J. H. Boetcker

1) You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.

2) You cannot help small men by tearing down big men.

3) You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

4) You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.

5) You cannot help the poor man by destroying the rich.

6) You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than your income.

7) You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.

8) You cannot establish security on borrowed money.

9) You cannot build character and courage by taking away men's initiative and independence.

10) You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.

Golden Rules For Living

1. If you open it, close it.
2. If you turn it on, turn it off.
3. If you unlock it, lock it.
4. If you break it, admit it.
5. If you can't fix it, call in someone who can.
6. If you borrow it, return it.
7. If you value it, take care of it.
8. If you make a mess, clean it up.
9. If you move it, put it back.
10. If it belongs to someone else, get permission to use it.
11. If you don't know how to operate it, leave it alone.
12. If it's none of your business, don't ask questions.

Teaching Points on Excuses

Courtesy of Coach Greg Brown:

Wooden’s Two Sets of Threes:

1. Never Lie
2. Never Cheat
3. Never Steal

1. Don’t Whine
2. Don’t Complain
3. Don’t Make Excuses

Thoughts on Excuses:

1. To make an excuse is to transfer responsibility.
2. We teach that mistakes are meant to be learned from and the excuses get in the way of that process.
3. Responsibility is power.
4. Honest introspection is the first step to changing negative habits. Awareness is the first step to change.
5. The conscious acceptance of responsibility is one of the greatest indicators of a person’s maturity.

Victory Over Your P-R-O-B-L-E-M-S

The next time your problems seem to be piling up on you, remember this simple acrostic:

- Positive attitudes are basic in solving any problem. Nix the negative thoughts; visualize a solution to your troubles. Make it happen!

- Release the power within you. Refuse to let your problems confuse or depress you. Remember that God is all-powerful and that you are his child. Repeat his promise: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

- Open your mind to opportunity. Often a problem contains the seeds of growth, of a great leap forward. Look for the “up side” of adversity.

- Believe. Repeat to yourself (and trust!) these great promises of the Bible:

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you” (Isaiah 43:2).

The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble” (Psalm 9:9).

- Let go and let God work. When we learn to release our problems into the hands of God, he brings about surprising solutions. He promises: “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know” (Jeremiah 33:3).

- Expect great things. When we trust God completely, our faith becomes an open channel for his power. Pray with the clear expectation that God will provide the best possible solution to your problem.

- Make the most of your situation. Analyze your difficulty as unemotionally as possible and look for the best way to handle it. Then move ahead. Sometimes you must step forward in faith before the solution to your problem arrives.

- Summon the strength to succeed. Success is primarily a spiritual process, the process of developing a mature personality through which you can accomplish your highest objective with the help of God.

Work Habits

"You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else." Albert Einstein

How to Change Your Work Habits and Become a Success Machine

You may be motivated to get to work on a plan to change your life, but worried because you have never been able to work as hard as you know you will need to. You've made resolutions before. And you've even started to make improvements. But you have been distracted by problems and unexpected events. And you have stopped.

That's the big problem you face now. How can you make sure you keep on working?

The following story, which dates back 40 years, explains how I did it.

"How I Became an "A" Student

Near the end of my senior year of high school, Mrs. Bigsley, the career counselor, called me into her office.

"I've been looking at your grades and your aptitude tests and your conduct reports," she said, thumbing through a stack of papers.

I waited expectantly. Mrs. Bigsley was the person in charge of getting students into good colleges and universities. "Maybe she's seen the potential I have," I thought. "Maybe she is going to help me get into an Ivy League school."

She put the stack of paper down on her desk and looked up at me.

"In all my years of teaching, I have never seen such a complete waste of DNA," she said. "Your parents are college teachers, are they not?"

I admitted they were.

"And your two elder siblings were 'A' students?"

"Yes, but..."

"And they went to top universities on scholarship?"

"Yes, but..."

"I've talked to Mrs. Growe, your homeroom teacher. And Mr. Dean and Dr. Mackel, too. They all say the same thing. You will never amount to anything that has anything to do with reading, writing, or math. Your grades support their opinion."

"But..."

"Your performance in high school indicates only one career choice as far as I can see: enlisting in the Army. I think you should talk to a recruiting officer. As soon as possible."

I tried once more to protest, but Mrs. Bigsley -- and apparently my teachers -- had come to a fixed decision. I was a complete and utter failure as a student.

It was the low point of my academic life. It was humiliating. I felt nearly defeated.

But Mrs. Bigsley's low assessment of me made me mad. I stewed about it that night and woke up the next morning with a completely new frame of mind.

I decided I would no longer be a screw-up. From that moment on, I was going to be a good student.

I started immediately by enrolling at the local community college. (If you have a beating heart, they accepted you.) Then I planned my summer. When I wasn't working, I would spend every waking hour reading and preparing for the classes I'd be taking.

Each day, I felt better about myself. I was learning what I should have learned in high school. Day by day, I was making progress.

Still, I was afraid that when I started classes I might revert to my bad habits. To make that scenario less likely, I found a "nerd" to share an apartment with and refused to sign up for any sports or pledge any fraternities. I also told my friends that I would be "out of touch" for at least a year. I explained my goals to them and asked them to respect me by leaving me alone until the following summer.

What I was doing, I realize now, was making a radical personality change. I was changing the way I thought about myself -- not by thinking positive thoughts but by taking specific actions that made me feel like a good student.

When college began in September, I sat in the front row of every class, something I'd never done in high school.

I made it a point to always do at least 50 percent more than I was asked to do. If the assignment was to write a 500-word essay on religion, I'd write 750 words and include a glossary of impressive sources. If the assignment was to read King Lear by the following week, I'd read it twice. And then I'd go to the library and read critical essays about the play so I'd be aware of all the major interpretations.

I raised my hand every time a question was asked. And I turned in extra work, even when it would get me no extra credit.

In short, I turned myself into a full-blown hardworking, overachieving, "A-level" student... and I made sure my instructors, and my fellow students, saw me that way.

In the beginning, other students in my classes did as much work as I did. But as the weeks went by, many of them started slipping. Each time one of them fell behind, I was motivated to work even harder. And I was thrilled when I got those early test scores back. I had never before understood how good it could feel to get an A or B+.

Those good feelings motivated me to push even harder. With each passing week, the distance between me and the other "good" students widened. And by the time freshman year was over, I saw myself as a completely different person. I was no longer the funny screw-up I'd been in high school. I'd changed into the "Teacher's Pet" who sat in the front and had the right answer to every question.

Once my image of myself changed, my motivation became permanent. I was among the best two or three students in every class. I was going to keep that position, no matter how much work it took.

I maintained an "A" average for two years and easily got into City University -- a tougher school -- where I continued to perform well. Two years later, I graduated magna cum laude. Two years after that, I graduated at the top of my class at the University of Michigan. And later, at Catholic University, I received honors on my doctorate work.

Becoming top dog takes a lot of extra time, so you'll have to make significant sacrifices. You'll have to:

1. Get up early, and give your day a jumpstart by doing something meaningful... first thing.

2. Work late sometimes.

3. Do at least 50 percent more than what is asked of you.

4. Volunteer for challenging assignments.

5. Educate yourself on the side.

6. Become better than anyone else at the essential skills you need to accomplish your goal.

If you are like most people, your biggest distractions will be television, the Internet, friends, and family. Get rid of your TV. Limit your "recreational" use of the Internet to one hour a day. And let your friends and family members know that you won't be able to spend much time with them in the foreseeable future.

Work like mad until you've become number one in your class, job, or outside interest. When that happens -- and it shouldn't take more than six months -- you'll feel great about yourself. And once you experience that feeling, you'll never have to worry about motivation again.

Well... almost never. Everyone needs a motivational recharge once in a while. But after the first time, you'll understand exactly what you have to do to get yourself going again.

[Ed. Note: This essay was excerpted from Michael Masterson's new book, The Pledge: Your Master Plan for an Abundant Life.]

Appreciation

This is a powerful message for our modern society. We seem to have lost our bearing and our sense of direction.

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the first interview; the director did the last interview. The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?"

The youth answered, "None."

The director asked, "Was it your father who paid for your school fees?"

The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees."

The director asked, "Where did your mother work?"

The youth answered, "My mother worked as laundry woman."

The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, "Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?"

The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me."

The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning."

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange. Happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the young man.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother's hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: "Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered, "I cleaned my mother's hands and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes."

The Director asked, "Please tell me your feelings."

The youth said:

1. I know now what appreciation is. Without my mother, there would not have been the successful me today.

2. By working together and helping my mother, only now I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done.

3. I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationships.

The director said, "This is what I am looking for to be my manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired."

Later on, this young person worked very hard and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.

Something to think about:

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, will develop an "entitlement mentality" and will always put himself first. He will be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he will assume that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he will never know the sufferings of his employees and will always blame others.

For this kind of a person, who may be good academically and maybe successful for a while, eventually he will not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying our children instead?

You can let your children live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it.

After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person.

The most important things are that your children learn how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learn how to work with others to get things done.

--- Author Unknown ---

The Art of How to Treat People

"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of being."

–Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Overcoming Adversity and Obstacles

"Comfort and prosperity have never enriched the world as much as adversity has."
-Billy Graham

"Obstacles can't stop you. Problems can't stop you. Most of all other people can't stop you. Only you can stop you."
-Jeffrey Gitomer

"You may not realize it when it happens, but at kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you."
-Walt Disney

"Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings."
-Ralph Blum

"I would never have amounted to anything were it not for adversity. I was forced to come up the hard way."
-J. C. Penney

"The man of virtue makes the difficulty to be overcome his first business, and success only a subsequent consideration."
-Confucius

"There is no education like adversity."
-Benjamin Disraeli

"Adversity builds character and character makes us stronger."
-Mark Wilson

"When it gets dark enough you can see the stars."
-Lee Salk

"Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it."
-Michael Jordan