Fail Your Way To The Top

The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is the way in which we use them!

Have you had a challenging day or week? Feel a little tired or discouraged with a current situation? Ready to throw in the towel and quit something?

Don't worry. It's very normal to go through times of feeling that something in life stinks and all there is to see and feel is the current mess.

Here is something neat to ponder during those times, though. When doing battle with discouraged feelings, take a look at this report and reflect on this man's record of failure. It is a testament to how humans can learn and grow and win despite the losses and defeats.

Failed in business-------------------------------------1831

Defeated for legislature------------------------------1832

Failed in business again----------------------------1833

Elected to legislature---------------------------------1834

Sweetheart died----------------------------------------1835

Nervous breakdown------------------------------------1836

Defeated for speaker----------------------------------1838

Defeated for land officer------------------------------1843

Defeated for congress--------------------------------1843

Elected to congress-----------------------------------1846

Defeated for re-election-------------------------------1848

Defeated for senate------------------------------------1855

Defeated for vice president--------------------------1856

Defeated for senate------------------------------------1858

Elected President--------------------------------------1860

Who was he?

He was a simple, uneducated, country boy who refused to allow his uncongenial circumstances to stop him. He refused to be a victim. He refused to accept failure. He refused to listen to people who told him he was crazy. He refused to stay down when he felt like nothing was going his way.

Simply put, he picked himself up no matter what and kept on going after his dream. He educated himself and did whatever it took to keep moving in the direction of his passions.

Who was he? Abraham Lincoln.

If you reflect back on your life, you can find patterns of the times you grew the most. Many of those times were probably a result of some kind of previous 'failure,' maybe even a series of them.

Remember: children don't fail when they are learning to walk. They fall down over and over again. It is the falling that teaches them and strengthens them.

Each failure is a learning experience. And the faster people pick themselves up, reflect on the past occurrence and go again, the faster they can achieve their goals and dreams.

So with this in mind, choose the one thing that may not be going exactly as you wish right now and do one thing to move you closer to achieving the result you want. And remember, life is about learning and growing.

by John Assara

10 Tips For Writing The Perfect Thank You Note

by John Kralik, author of '365 Thank Yous'

1. Focus on the other person. First, find their address, and write it out yourself on the envelope. Where are they living? What did they go through to give you this gift? When is the last time you did something like that for them?
2. Think beyond material gifts. What about the person who serves you coffee every day? What about the doctor who saved your life, the Good Samaritan who found your wallet, the teacher who takes an interest in your child, the special friend who listens to you, the person who loves you.
3. Mention the gift itself, hopefully in a positive tone, so they know you got it, and are not confusing them with someone else.
4. Write a sentence or two explaining how the gift is changing or simply improving your life.
5. If the gift isn't right for you, don't ask where the gift was purchased so you can exchange it. You can get value out of any gift, if only by donating to charity.
6. Think of ways you failed to thank the person in the past and remind the recipient how important a friend they are.
7. Don't make jokes unless you know the recipient has a good sense of humor, and you are sure they will get the joke in the way that it was intended.
8. Keep the thank you short and simple on a 3" x 5" note card, minus fancy frills. That way, there's no room for anything except your gratitude. Replace thank-you e-mails with handwritten notes. With a handwritten note, a piece of you will be in the same room with the person to whom you write.
9. Try writing a first draft, perhaps in a spreadsheet. Not only will you benefit from the second draft, but you will always have a list of the most generous people in your life, and the reasons why you should be thankful for them.
10. Write a lot of thank-you notes. You'll get better.

Strange and Different - The Story of Rudolph

On a December night in Chicago, a little girl climbed onto her father's lap and asked a question. It was a simple question, asked in children's curiosity, yet it had a heart-rending effect on Robert May.

“Daddy,” four-year old Barbara asked, “Why isn't my Mommy just like everybody else's mommy?”

Bob May stole a glance across his shabby two-room apartment. On a couch lay his young wife, Evelyn, racked with cancer. For two years, she had been bedridden; for two years, all Bob's income and smaller savings had gone to pay for treatments and medicines.

The terrible ordeal already had shattered two adult lives. Now Bob suddenly realized the happiness of his growing daughter was also in jeopardy. As he ran his fingers through Barbara's hair, he prayed for some satisfactory answer to her question.

Bob May knew only too well what it meant to be “different.” As a child, he had been weak and delicate. With the innocent cruelty of children, his playmates had continually goaded the stunted, skinny lad to tears. Later at Dartmouth, from which he was graduated in 1926, Bob May was so small that he was always being mistaken for someone's little brother.

Nor was his adult life much happier. Unlike many of his classmates who floated from college into plush jobs, Bob became a lowly copy writer for Montgomery Ward, the big Chicago mail order house. Now at 33, Bob was deep in debt, depressed and sad.

Although Bob did not know it at the time, the answer he gave the tousle-haired child on his lap was to bring him to fame and fortune. It was also to bring joy to countless thousands of children like his own Barbara. On that December night in the shabby Chicago apartment, Bob cradled his little girl's head against his shoulder and began to tell a story.

“Once upon a time there was a reindeer named Rudolph, the only reindeer in the world that had a big red nose. Naturally people called him Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.” As Bob went on to tell about Rudolph, he tried desperately to communicate to Barbara the knowledge that, even though some creatures of God are strange and different, they often enjoy the miraculous power to make others happy.

Rudolph, Bob explained, was terribly embarrassed by his unique nose. Other reindeer laughed at him; his mother and father and sister were mortified too.

Even Rudolph wallowed in self pity.

“Well,” continued Bob, “one Christmas Eve, Santa Claus got his team of husky reindeer -- Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, and Vixon -- ready for their yearly trip around the world. The entire reindeer community assembled to cheer these great heroes on their way. But a terrible fog engulfed the earth that evening, and Santa knew that the mist was so thick he wouldn’t be able to find any chimney.

Suddenly, Rudolph appeared, his red nose glowing brighter than ever. Santa sensed at once that here was the answer to his perplexing problem. He led Rudolph to the front of the sleigh, fastened the harness and climbed in.

They were off! Rudolph guided Santa safely to every chimney that night. Rain and fog, snow and sleet; nothing bothered Rudolph, for his bright nose penetrated the mist like a beacon.

And so it was that Rudolph became the most famous and beloved of all the reindeer. The huge red nose he once hid in shame was now the envy of every buck and doe in the reindeer world. Santa Claus told everyone that Rudolph had saved the day, and from that Christmas, Rudolph has been living serenely and happy.”

Little Barbara laughed with glee when her father finished. Every night she begged him to repeat the tale until finally Bob could rattle it off in his sleep. Then, at Christmas time, he decided to make the story into a poem like “The Night Before Christmas” and prepare it in bookish form illustrated with pictures, for Barbara’s personal gift. Night after night, Bob worked on the verses after Barbara had gone to bed, for he was determined his daughter should have a worthwhile gift, even though he could not afford to buy one.

Then as Bob was about to put the finishing touches on Rudolph, tragedy struck.

Evelyn May died. Bob, his hopes crushed, turned to Barbara as chief comfort. Yet, despite his grief, he sat at his desk in the quiet, now lonely apartment, and worked on “Rudolph” with tears in his eyes.

Shortly after Barbara had cried with joy over his handmade gift on Christmas morning, Bob was asked to an employees holiday party at Montgomery Wards. He didn't want to go, but his office associates insisted. When Bob finally agreed, he took with him the poem and read it to the crowd. First, the noisy throng listened in laughter and gaiety. Then they became silent, and at the end, broke into spontaneous applause. That was in 1938.

By Christmas of 1947, some 6 million copies of the booklet had been given away or sold, making Rudolph one of the most widely distributed books in the world. The demand for Rudolph-sponsored products increased so much in variety and number that educators and historians predicted Rudolph would come to occupy a permanent place in the Christmas legend.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is a character created in a story and song by the same name. The story was created by Robert L. May in 1939 as part of his employment with Montgomery Ward.

The Touch of the Masters Hand

Twas battered and scarred, and the auctioneer thought it scarcely worth his while to waste much time on the old violin, but held it up with a smile; "What am I bidden, good folks," he cried, "Who'll start the bidding for me?" "A dollar, a dollar"; then two!" "Only two? Two dollars, and who'll make it three? Three dollars, once; three dollars twice; going for three.." But no, from the room, far back, a gray-haired man came forward and picked up the bow; Then, wiping the dust from the old violin, and tightening the loose strings, he played a melody pure and sweet as caroling angel sings.

The music ceased, and the auctioneer, with a voice that was quiet and low, said; "What am I bid for the old violin?" And he held it up with the bow. A thousand dollars, and who'll make it two? Two thousand! And who'll make it three? Three thousand, once, three thousand, twice, and going and gone," said he. The people cheered, but some of them cried, "We do not quite understand what changed its worth." Swift came the reply: "The touch of a master's hand."

And many a man with life out of tune, and battered and scarred with sin, Is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd, much like the old violin, A "mess of pottage," a glass of wine; a game - and he travels on. "He is going" once, and "going twice, He's going and almost gone." But the Master comes, and the foolish crowd never can quite understand the worth of a soul and the change that's wrought by the touch of the Master's hand.

By Myra 'Brooks' Welch

F.E.A.R. Acronym

Courtesy of Greg Brown:

We continue to work daily on our Process oriented thinking. We truly believe that we must work just as hard, if not harder, developing our player's mental skills as their physical skills.

We have noticed the words,"fear, afraid, failure" etc come up in conversations. Afraid of failure, afraid of letting others down, etc. So how then, can we make a fear of failure work work as a strength.

Dr. Kevin Elko has the following suggestions:

Fear is an Acronym:
False Evidence Appearing Real

If you hold onto fear, then that worrisome, awful vision is clearly and consistently established in your mind and it will occur--because you have made it so.

A vision isn't a vision until it is tested. Make your vision last longer than your fear.

Do not surrender to the greatest temptation--Self pity. With self pity you are not thinking something is just hard but rather that something is too hard. It is beyond you; it is more than you can handle.

To accomplish the seemingly impossible:
1. Thinking it
2. Speaking it
3. Acting it

Courage

You gain strength, courage, & confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, I lived through this horror I can take the next thing that comes along. - Eleanor Roosevelt

The Gold Slippers

It was only four days before Christmas. The spirit of the season hadn't yet caught up with me, even though cars packed the parking lot of our local discount store.

Inside the store, it was worse. Shopping carts and last minute shoppers jammed the aisles. Why did I come today? I wondered.

My feet ached almost as much as my head. My list contained names of several people who claimed they wanted nothing but I knew their feelings would be hurt if didn't buy them anything.

Buying for someone who had everything and deploring the high cost of items, I considered gift-buying anything but fun. Hurriedly, I filled my shopping cart with last minute items and proceeded to the long checkout lines. I picked the shortest but it looked as if it would mean at least a 20 minute wait.

In front of me were two small children - a boy of about 5 and a younger girl. The boy wore a ragged coat. Enormously large, tattered tennis shoes jutted far out in front of his much too short jeans. He clutched several crumpled dollar bills in his grimy hands. The girl's clothing resembled her brother's. Her head was a matted mass of curly hair. Reminders of an evening meal showed on her small face.

She carried a beautiful pair of shiny, gold house slippers. As the Christmas music sounded in the store's stereo system, the girl hummed along, off-key but happily.

When we finally approached the checkout register, the girl carefully placed the shoes on the counter. She treated them as though they were a treasure.
The clerk rang up the bill. "That will be $6.09," she said. The boy laid his crumpled dollars atop the stand while he searched his pockets. He finally came up with $3.12. "I guess we will have to put them back, " he bravely said.

"We will come back some other time, maybe tomorrow." With that statement, a soft sob broke from the little girl. "But Jesus would have loved these shoes, " she cried. "Well, we'll go home and work some more. Don't cry. We'll come back," he said.

Quickly I handed $3.00 to the cashier. These children had waited in line for a long time. And, after all, it was Christmas. Suddenly a pair of arms came around me and a small voice said, "Thank you lady."

"What did you mean when you said Jesus would like the shoes?" I asked.

The boy answered, "Our mommy is sick and going to heaven. Daddy said she might go before Christmas to be with Jesus." The girl spoke, "My Sunday school teacher said the streets in heaven are shiny gold, just like these shoes."

"Won't mommy be beautiful walking on those streets to match these shoes?"

My eyes flooded as I looked into her tear streaked face. "Yes" I answered, "I am sure she will."

Silently I thanked God for using these children to remind me of the true spirit of giving." 'Tis the Season!! Remember that it's better to give than receive.

Recovering from Setbacks

Here are three tips for getting back in the saddle after a deflating setback from Success Magazine’s weekly E-newsletter.

Step One: Pout or Punch. Do What You Have to Do to Feel Better.

Allow yourself to be an utter mess, SUCCESS columnist Mel Robbins says. “I gripe. I cry. I feel insecure. I punch the wall. I exercise. Then, it’s out of my system and it’s over,” she says.

Take the time you need to process what happened. Whether it’s life-altering like a layoff or an unforeseen obstacle in a big project, it’s okay. Really. Accepting the setback is an important step toward moving forward. It’s one more thing you can put in the “I know not to do that next time” column.

Step Two: You’ve Got to Move It (Move It)

Pardon the maddening tune, but the next step to recovery is taking action. Any action. Write down your proudest accomplishments and remember how you achieved them. Journaling your accomplishments will help you realize how powerful you really are. Recognizing your power, you can move forward confidently without second-guessing your every step.

Step Three: What’s the Takeaway?

From every misstep, there’s a lesson learned or a key takeaway that you can apply to your next project. So think on two levels—literally and figuratively. What’s the literal lesson from what happened and what larger, overarching principle can be taken from this experience? View your challenges positively. Easier said than done, but just thinking to yourself, “Okay, it can only get better now” is the kind of positive affirmation you need.

Merry Christmas

Years ago, there was a very wealthy man who, with his devoted young son, shared a passion for art collecting. Together, they traveled around the world, adding only the finest art treasures to their collection. Priceless works by Picasso, Van Gogh, Monet and many others adorned the walls of the family estate.

The widowed elder man looked on with satisfaction as his only child became an experienced art collector. The son's trained eye and sharp business mind caused his father to beam with pride as they dealt with art collectors around the world.

One year, as winter approached, war engulfed the nation, and the young man left to serve his country. After only a few short weeks, his father received a telegram. His beloved son was missing in action. The art collector anxiously awaited more news, fearing he would never see his son again. Within days, his fears were confirmed. The young man had died while rushing a fellow soldier to a medic.

Distraught and lonely, the old man faced the upcoming Christmas holidays with anguish and sadness. The joy of the season that he and his son had looked forward to would visit his house no longer.

On Christmas morning, a knock on the door awakened the depressed old man. As he walked to the door, the masterpieces of art on the walls only reminded him that his son was not coming home. As he opened the door, he was greeted by a soldier with a large package in his hands.

He introduced himself to the old man by saying, "I was a friend of your son. I was the one he was rescuing when he died. May I come in for a few moments? I have something to show you."

As the two began to talk, the soldier told of how the man's son had told everyone of his, not to mention his father's, love of fine art. "I am no artist," said the soldier, "but I want to give you this."

As the old man unwrapped the package, the paper gave way to reveal a portrait of the man's son. Though the world would never consider it the work of a genius, the painting featured the young man's face in striking detail.

Overcome with emotion, the man thanked the soldier, promising to hang the picture above the fireplace. A few hours later, after the soldier had departed, the old man set about his task. True to his word, the painting went above the fireplace, pushing aside thousands of dollars worth of art. His task completed, the old man sat in his chair and spent Christmas gazing at the gift he had been given.

During the days and weeks that followed, the man realized that, even though is son was no longer with him, the boy would live on because of those he had touched. He would soon learn that his son had rescued dozens of wounded soldiers before a bullet stifled his caring heart.

As the stories of his son's gallantry continued to reach him, fatherly pride and satisfaction began to ease his grief. The painting of his son soon became his most prized possession, far eclipsing any interest in the pieces for which museums around the world clamored. He told his neighbors it was the greatest gift he had ever received.

The following spring, the old man became ill and passed away. The art world was in anticipation that the collector's passing and his only son dead, those paintings would be sold at auction. According to the will of the old man, all art works would be auctioned on Christmas Day, the day he had received the greatest gift.

The day soon arrived and art collectors from around the world gathered to bid on some of the world's most spectacular paintings. Dreams would be fulfilled this day; greatness would be achieved as many would claim, "I have the greatest collection."

The auction began with a painting that was not on any museum's list. It was the painting of the man's son. The auctioneer asked for an opening bid, but the room was silent. "Who will open the bidding with $100?" he asked. Minutes passed, and no one spoke. From the back of the room came a voice, "Who cares about that painting? It's just a picture of his son." "Let's forget about it and move on to the good stuff," more voices echoed in agreement.

"No, we have to sell this one first," replied the auctioneer. "Now, who will take the son?" Finally, a neighbor of the old man spoke. "Will you take ten dollars for the painting? That's all I have. I knew the boy; so I would like to have it.

"I have ten dollars. Will anyone go higher?" asked the auctioneer. After more silence, the auctioneer said, "Going once, going twice, gone." The gavel fell.

Cheers filled the room and someone exclaimed, "Now we can get on with it and we can bid on the real treasures!" The auctioneer looked at the audience and announced that the auction was over.

Stunned disbelief quieted the room. Someone spoke up and asked, "What do you mean, it's over? We didn't come here for a picture of some old guy's son. What about all these paintings? There are millions of dollars worth of art here! I demand that you explain what is going on!"

The auctioneer replied, "It's very simple. According to the will of the father, whoever takes the son...gets it all."

Voice Lessons

There is nothing more genuine than breaking away from the chorus to learn the sound of your own voice. - Po Bronson